This is what happens when I read botgirl's blog, heh

I've been sitting here, wondering, "Who is McCabe? Has he ever had any identity other than my own? Just how alike/unlike are we?"

It's a tough question to answer, because realistically, McCabe doesn't exist anymore. When I chose real life over Second Life, I really didn't give him a choice except to die.

Now, some time has passed, and his home is gone, his inworld friends have all moved on, and his old projects sit in his inventory, unfinished, probably forever. The parts that made McCabe's life unique have been disassembled, leaving only a login name and the persona behind it.

(Should I feel sentimental? I don't know. I put a lot of myself into him, but I also put a lot into my lego builds when I was 6, and I'm not out there buying bricks.)

In looking at his social interractions, I suppose McCabe was me-but-not-me. He was confident where I'd be shy; adventerous where I'd be scared. He felt very much like a fresh start. If I ever moved to a new town and assumed a new identity, that identity would be very much like McCabe.

Yet, he was not me. McCabe was happy with the ethereal; he thrived in a world where imagination and possibility were not just stories, they were currency. The person behind McCabe could never imagine being happy with those limitations (even his emotional needs are far too tactile).

I rather like how even though McCabe's transition from virtual identity to alias was rough at first, it now feels completely natural. It doesn't feel weird anymore when people call me McCabe instead of my real name (if anything, it feels like being back in high school when everyone called me by my nickname). As fond as I was of McCabe's little life, I like me more :)

*stretches* Mmm, mental ramblings.

http://scfire-ntc-aa02.stream.aol.com:80/stream/1004: something about solo piano and intelligent discourse always leaves me introspective.